On Tue, Nov 22, 2011 at 9:30 AM, Dennis Reynolds <d************@gmail.com> wrote:
Good morning Farrah! (Or is it afternoon there? Time zones are confusing!)
I am so glad to be in receipt of your e-mail of October 28th. You see, I am sympathetic to the plight of the Iraqi people, due to the havoc wreaked on your great nation by our former war-dog president george bush. (I won't even capitalize his name so as to show my lack of respect. I wish I could throw my shoes at the man, but he is in Texas, which is a different state from where I live. Do you have anything like states in Iraq? Probably not. Your country is the same size as my individual state almost. But what Iraq lacks in landmass, it more than makes up for in history, beauty and splendor. Also oil.)
First, let me express my condolences on the loss of your husband. The capitalist pig george w bush (<---no capitalization) has turned your once-great company into a war-torn hell and I wish to apologize on that dog's behalf. It is sad that you cannot sustain yourself as a registered nurse in Iraq. In America, nurses make over $80000 US dollars every year. But it's rude of me to tell you this when you're trying to feed yourself and your daughter, Basirat. Rest assured that you have not disturbed my peace, as I am disturbed every day by the torment caused in the Arab world by our pig presidents.
I know it has been several weeks since your original correspondence, but I wanted to ensure that you were able to transfer your funds. I hate to think of a 10 year old girl eating dirt off the street in order to survive, even if the dirt contains such a large amount of light sweet crude. While I hate what has been done by the pig dog george bush and his successor, the dog pig barack obama, I did not care for Saddam Hussein. Though men with moustaches are highly thought of in your great nation, in America men with moustaches are often suspected of molesting children such as your dear Basirat. Other suspicious activities are owning a van or being the assistant coach of a major college football program. (American football, not real football).
So I wish to help you obtain your Saddam Hussein-liberated funds. Please let me know the procedure. You say that there is nothing to worry about, and I TRUST you, Farrah. The vault is in London? You may not know this, but America was once at war with England, also. But now they are our friends. Perhaps in time, America and Iraq can be friends in the same way. One day I hope that our leaders can join hands and kiss cheeks without worry that the pig American people will accuse them of homosexuality.
I suppose this will be my letter of acceptance, but I am confused about your desire to "get it on". It must have a very different meaning in Iraq as it does here in America. Nonetheless, could you kindly send a picture of yourself so I can consider this offer to "get it on"? You said you anticipate leaving Iraq very soon, so it might be a possibility.
Together in spirit,
Dennis Reynolds
Good morning Farrah! (Or is it afternoon there? Time zones are confusing!)
I am so glad to be in receipt of your e-mail of October 28th. You see, I am sympathetic to the plight of the Iraqi people, due to the havoc wreaked on your great nation by our former war-dog president george bush. (I won't even capitalize his name so as to show my lack of respect. I wish I could throw my shoes at the man, but he is in Texas, which is a different state from where I live. Do you have anything like states in Iraq? Probably not. Your country is the same size as my individual state almost. But what Iraq lacks in landmass, it more than makes up for in history, beauty and splendor. Also oil.)
First, let me express my condolences on the loss of your husband. The capitalist pig george w bush (<---no capitalization) has turned your once-great company into a war-torn hell and I wish to apologize on that dog's behalf. It is sad that you cannot sustain yourself as a registered nurse in Iraq. In America, nurses make over $80000 US dollars every year. But it's rude of me to tell you this when you're trying to feed yourself and your daughter, Basirat. Rest assured that you have not disturbed my peace, as I am disturbed every day by the torment caused in the Arab world by our pig presidents.
I know it has been several weeks since your original correspondence, but I wanted to ensure that you were able to transfer your funds. I hate to think of a 10 year old girl eating dirt off the street in order to survive, even if the dirt contains such a large amount of light sweet crude. While I hate what has been done by the pig dog george bush and his successor, the dog pig barack obama, I did not care for Saddam Hussein. Though men with moustaches are highly thought of in your great nation, in America men with moustaches are often suspected of molesting children such as your dear Basirat. Other suspicious activities are owning a van or being the assistant coach of a major college football program. (American football, not real football).
So I wish to help you obtain your Saddam Hussein-liberated funds. Please let me know the procedure. You say that there is nothing to worry about, and I TRUST you, Farrah. The vault is in London? You may not know this, but America was once at war with England, also. But now they are our friends. Perhaps in time, America and Iraq can be friends in the same way. One day I hope that our leaders can join hands and kiss cheeks without worry that the pig American people will accuse them of homosexuality.
I suppose this will be my letter of acceptance, but I am confused about your desire to "get it on". It must have a very different meaning in Iraq as it does here in America. Nonetheless, could you kindly send a picture of yourself so I can consider this offer to "get it on"? You said you anticipate leaving Iraq very soon, so it might be a possibility.
Together in spirit,
Dennis Reynolds
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